AI vs AI

How to respond to those pesky book marketing spams.

Every book author gets a ton of spam mail, usually from AI bots who pretend to be book marketers or book club organizers. Most of the time, the “AI speak” is easy to spot and the email goes straight to trash. But this one, I had to keep because it was particularly preposterous, offering to market the film I wrote instead of one of my books.

Here is the original spam email in full, errors intact:

Hi Iris,

I hope you are doing well. My name is Mary, and I am a book marketing strategist who specializes in helping authors, especially those with powerful historical and cinematic work, get their stories in front of the right readers.

I came across Letters From Iwo Jima on Amazon and spent time with it. I really appreciated the raw, human perspective you brought to the Japanese soldiers on Iwo Jima. The way the screenplay captures their quiet dignity, fears, and duty alongside the intense battle scenes is deeply moving. It is a special piece of writing, especially knowing how it became part of Clint Eastwood’s acclaimed film.

That said, I can also see why it is not reaching as many people as it could. With zero reviews after nearly twenty years, Amazons algorithm gives it almost no visibility at all. The listing is quite minimal and dated, which makes the book feel hidden even to people interested in war stories, screenplays, or World War II history. And while the core material is strong, the current description does not fully convey the emotional power and unique viewpoint that make this screenplay so compelling.

I have helped several authors and screenwriters with older film related titles revive interest by addressing exactly these kinds of issues. For your book, we could create a more modern and respectful cover that better signals the historical weight and emotional depth to attract serious readers. We would also rewrite the Amazon description and add rich A+ content to highlight the connection to the Oscar nominated film, the powerful Japanese perspective, and the humanity in your writing. Finally, we would build a realistic, tasteful plan to earn genuine reviews and connect the work with readers of military history, film enthusiasts, and fans of thoughtful war stories.

I never send generic proposals. If you are open to it, I would love your permission to do a deeper personalized analysis of the listing, keywords, competition, and current audience potential, then send you a proper proposal with specific recommendations.

Would that be alright with you?

(*I have removed the signature that was attached because AI bots often co-opt real people’s identities.)

I had a laugh and then for a fluke, I asked chatGPT to come up with some humorous responses and they were surprisingly good. I thought I’d share them with you.

Option 1: The Hollywood Megalomaniac

Oh, Mary! Thank goodness you reached out. Clint and I were just sitting on my yacht in Malibu weeping over our lack of Amazon A+ Content.

I told him, “Clint, the four Academy Award nominations and the Golden Globe were nice, but the Amazon algorithm is completely burying us! We have zero reviews!” He spat out his chewing tobacco and said, “Iris, find us a strategist who can redo the cover to signal more historical weight.”

We have a marketing budget of $45 million left over from the production. Can we use that to finally get our first 5-star review from a verified purchaser? Let me know if you take payment in Oscar statuettes or strictly Bitcoin.

Structurally yours,

Iris

Option 2: The Utterly Confused Creative

Hi Mary,

Wow, thank you for finding my hidden gem! It has been so tough getting exposure. When Clint Eastwood agreed to direct my screenplay back in 2006, I really thought that would be our big break. But you are so right—without a tasteful Amazon description, the whole “major motion picture” thing really fell flat.

I asked the studio, “Should we do a BookTok campaign?” but Warner Bros. just didn’t listen.

Before you do a deep dive, can you guarantee your proposal will get us ahead of the Saving Private Ryan screenplay in the keywords? Spielberg has been bragging about his SEO for years and I am sick of it.

Warmly,

Iris

Option 3: The “Get Off My Lawn” Clint

Mary,

Iris showed me your email. I’ve been staring at this computer screen for ten minutes trying to figure out what “A+ Content” is, and frankly, it sounds like horse manure.

We made a movie that won an Oscar, Mary. I didn’t squint into the sun on a black-sand island for three months just to worry about the “Amazon algorithm.” You say we have zero reviews like it’s a bad thing. Back in my day, if people didn’t like your work, they didn’t leave a review—they just didn’t buy you a drink at the saloon.

You want to do a “deeper personalized analysis”? Go ahead. But if you send me a PowerPoint presentation, I’m going to treat it like a bad script and throw it in the fireplace.

Fix your typos,

Clint Eastwood

Which of the three responses above did you like most? Or is there an another way you would respond? Let me know in the comments.